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Taking French classes has revealed that I have some intense and unsettled trauma around school and educational settings. I'm an adult taking classes where there's no grades and I can go at the pace I need to learn, and yet I'm still holding back tears when I'm frustrated from not understanding

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something or terrified of making a mistake and looking stupid. Things with performance metrics (pass/fail, letter grades, levels, etc.) around your intellect and memory make me deeply anxious. It shouldn't matter at this stage but I find myself regressing into a frightened, childlike state over it.