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i know this is a goofy meme account (w no alt text -- the pic is of a person saying "so that was a fucking lie" to advice of "if you're tired drink some coffee it'll keep you awake") but legit the alarm went off for me when i realized i spent most of my life wondering what the big deal was w coffee

coffee never gave me a buzz or a jolt or kept me awake; the act of drinking coffee definitely helped and the ritual of pouring/making coffee was great, but it doesn't do anything for my brain other than essentially sort of in a limited way make my brain operate on a ~ normal ~ scale for a minute

if anything, i find coffee (or any caffeine, really) basically soothing; it regulates my race-car brain anyway if this sounds like you get your ass assessed