Post

Arlieth
@arlieth.com

I need there to be a reasonable middle ground between a friend who transitions and has cast off their deadname like a chrysalis, and that one friend who changes her name every couple of months based on the new fandom she has parasocially identified with and gets mad when I ask who they are again

0 reposts16 likes

Arlieth
@arlieth.com

it is surprisingly difficult to come up with a name for yourself because in this case you're essentially doing it backwards when you are named by your parents, it is before you have an identity, so it shapes your identity externally. But now you're trying to reflect your new internal identity.

Arlieth
@arlieth.com

in most cultures, nicknames/street names/callsigns are defined externally, not self-defined. Perhaps for this very reason. There's probably a metric fuckton of post-structuralist philosophical discourse on this kind of thing. I'm sure Barthes has something to say about it.

Damien Crawford
@developerdamien.bsky.social

Ok, but I had this with my first ex from high school who transitioned and I ended up being roommates with when I was like 20. He complained one night about having a hard time finding work and I said "it's because you keep answering as some new game or anime character with each call"

EcoKady
@ecokady.bsky.social

Certainly allowed to feel how you feel about Patrick Rothfuss and the Kingkiller Chronicles, but there is an very on-the-nose passage in the book that speaks about this.

Arlieth
@arlieth.com

Any contracts I ever enter with such a person would probably become null and void upon anthroponymic transitions. "Yes, Sarah borrowed money from you last week but you're talking to Sally now"