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My dumbass father who smoked 5 packs of pall malls a day went out and bought 3 generators and I'm like 'where you plan on getting gas to run those suckers Einstein?' and he decided he'd start stockpiling gas in the garage. LOFuckingL. He also stocked up on like 60 cartons of smokes. Good times.

Yeah, that and the case of beer he drank per day. He was retired and spent his life at the Legion or driving my mother nuts so it was par for the course for him. Purple heart wounded Korean vet, never took prescription pills, drank and smoked like a fiend & lived to almost 80. Good genetics.