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I have a long history with the movie _The Silence of the Lambs_. I think I've seen it about a dozen times in cinemas, and many more on DVD or streaming. That's an unusually large number of time for me to see a movie, but spending a lot of time in cinemas wasn't usual.

I confess that I was trepidatious the first time I watched it. I've long avoided gore, and I worried that the film would be too gory for me. I remember, that first time, watching Hannibal Lector biting Sgt. Jim Pembry's face through my interlaced fingers. Surprisingly gore-free.

Cinemas were my primary entertainment after I moved to Toronto. Other folks would go to pubs or live bands or sportsball games. Me, I'd be out at the cinema multiple times a week.

I grew up in Sarnia, where we had 6 movie screens for most of my life. We got all the big releases weeks after the major cities: once the films started showing on fewer screens in London, they'd send the print to Sarnia. _Star Wars_, _Superman_, _ET_. All arrived about a month after first release.

I remember seeing _The Silence of the Lambs_ at the Ontario Place Cinesphere, in a double feature _Bram Stoker's: Dracula_. Toronto's only IMAX theatre. Hannibal Lector's face staring directly at the audience, several stories tall, carefully enunciating, "That is incidental!"

At some point I stopped going to the cinema. I still loved watching moves. But watching them on DVD or video was enough. Not gonna lie: cinemas made choices that started to drive me away. Previews started being preceded by minutes of advertising. The price of popcorn was through the roof.

The theatre was usually too cold, and too loud. Often, in the first few minutes of the film, some asshole who arrived late wanted to shimmy past me to get at an empty chair beside me.

So, last night, the Revue Cinema -- one of Toronto's long-lived repertory theatres -- had a showing of _The Silence of the Lambs_. My friend, Diane, who went with me to so many of those viewings in 1991/92, pointed it out and suggested we go for old times' sake.

And we did. There was a time the Revue was being managed by an old friend of mine from Sarnia. That hasn't been true for a long time. But, whatever. It was a sold out showing.

Me, my partner, and Diane were in line about 50 minutes before showtime. First time I've stood in a cinema line-up for -- I wanna say 7, 8 years? I *think* _Black Panther_ might have been the last film I saw in theatres. That would have been 2018. I've lost all of my tolerance.

I was quietly annoyed at the people hemming and hawing in the aisles, trying to decide where they wanted to sit, as the previews were airing. The flash of light from the woman on the other side of the aisle who needed to check her cell while Lector was discussing fava beans.

And the print was showing its age: the audio warbled, and suffered a terrible case of the rice krispies. And it was really fucking loud.

This used to be my favourite thing in the world. And I'm not saying I had a bad time. I didn't. But I didn't *love* the experience. Too many people. Too loud. Change! It happens! It's so weird. Who even was I then?

Additional things I found myself thinking about: At the time I watched it, I loved the presentation of strong women. Starling, of course. But also Catherine, who was executing her own escape plan. Today, the feminism seems pretty milquetoast. "It matters," Starling says in gentlest of chides.

91/92 was pre-transition for me. Back then, I took Lector's assertion that Buffalo Bill was not a real transexual at face value, and rejected the idea that he was a negative portrayal of trans people. Those themes sit differently now. "Transsexuals are very passive," Starling tells me. Harumph.

I also found myself wondering if Ardelia is actually named in the film. Starling addresses her, faux-formally, as "Agent Mapp" during their graduation party, but I'm not sure we hear her called Ardelia.