Post

SHOCKTOBER ‘26 #1: BRAINDEAD / DEAD ALIVE Takes longer to get started than I remembered but Jackson’s cartoonish glee at shredding bodies from every conceivable angle is infectious and as soon as you think you’ve seen every gag, out comes the lawnmower. Remember the reason for the season.

SHOCKTOBER ‘26 #2: MARTYRS I wanted to revisit this in hope that it might have something to say about who suffers in the name of the elite’s fear of death but I found it still as frustratingly vague as ever. Laugier said he wrote it about pain and yeah I guess he did. The first hour cooks tho.

SHOCKTOBER ‘26 #3: THE STONE TAPE The people demand a sequel about the Dipshit Washing Machine Guy and his team discovering the room and also being driven insane trying to make a dryer that runs on rocks infused with trauma.

SHOCKTOBER ‘26 #4: PSYCHO II I’ve been hearing it for years, first a low murmur but growing in volume: “the PSYCHO sequels have the juice” What? Impossible. This movie was made 23 years after the first one! But friends, I’m here, humbled before you and god alike to say: it’s got the juice.

SHOCKTOBER ‘26 #5: BACKROOMS This wasn’t doing it for me until they threw in a big silly monster and some bloodshed but the third act chase has some staggeringly cool moments. MARTYRS has fried my brain but I was watching the ending like: “yup that’s a MARTYRS alright”. I’ve gone full Martyr-ino.

SHOCKTOBER ‘26 #6: ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE For a movie about the things men project onto Amber Heard that was buried by Harvey Weinstein for 7 years I sure wish there was a little more substance here.

SHOCKTOBER ‘26 #7: SAW VI Yeah it’s the one where Jigsaw kills a bunch of healthcare execs and the last kill is a top 5 for the series but there is so much of the procedural bullshit that this franchise loves. Hoffman is one of the worst villains in horror and he’s glowering all over this movie.

SHOCKTOBER ‘26 #8: ALICE, SWEET ALICE This worked so well for me. Shot entirely in northern New Jersey in 1976? Hell yeah. Deeply Catholic and very giallo in structure, it’s a hell of a ride. As a parent, I find this kind of material endlessly frightening.

SHOCKTOBER ‘26 #9: DOWNRANGE In this house we love two things: Ryūhei Kitamura movies and trapped-by-a-sniper thrillers. Hot damn is this a mean fuckin ride.

SHOCKTOBER ‘26 #10: THE BORDERLANDS / FINAL PRAYER The first found footage movie of the season and I’m always a sucker for a jaded exorcist movie, especially when it’s got an ending as memorable as this.

SHOCKTOBER ‘26 #11: SESSION 9 I still find the two most stressful parts of this movie how quickly they fall behind schedule on the project and how lackadaisical they all are with PPE around asbestos.

SHOCKTOBER ‘26 #12: INTRUDER Directed by the late, great Scott Speigel with the Raimi boys and even a small Bruce walk-on. It’s a solid slasher but the real joy is the 1989 Michigan grocery store setting. Just do another slow pan down the cereal aisle and let my brain release the good chemicals.

SHOCKTOBER ‘26 #13: EVIL DEAD BURN So much more enjoyable than expected. It’s mean and funny and some of the makeup effects are amazing. I remain convinced there are no bad Evils Dead. Consider me a fan.

SHOCKTOBER ‘26 #14: 1BR Very solid flick about a cult in an apartment complex that I strongly suspect could have found a bigger audience with a better title. This wouldn’t work on me though because I will never attend an apartment building event.

SHOCKTOBER ‘26 #15: SCOOBY-DOO Matt Lillard just loves being Shaggy and that love is infectious. He spends the whole movie acting opposite an ugly computer dog (not Frank Welker!?) and it shouldn’t work but it mostly does.

SHOCKTOBER ‘26 #16: SLEEPY HOLLOW The first Oh No Jeffrey Jones of the season, he’s always great and it’s always a bummer. However the uncancelled members of the cast are really great and I do love a lush, overdesigned rural 1799 New York.

SHOCKTOBER ‘26 #18: MARAMA I like that this is described as a tale of retribution rather than revenge which is an important distinction. Also when he was like “do you like my Maori house? I had it shipped here from New Zealand” I was like “oh yeah did it have to walk up the mountain too?”

SHOCKTOBER ‘26 #19: HOUSE OF WAX I wouldn’t have even considered this was a 3D movie if not for the 10 minute paddleball guy break in the middle. It’s not Shocktober without Vincent Price and he’s so fun in this one. Extremely young Charles Bronson as a heavy too!

SHOCKTOBER ‘26 #20: ANNABELLE COMES HOME Perfectly effective Sleepover Horror which is an important part of our ecosystem but still too loud and Christian. At the end an anchorman on tv says “Hartford, the land of steady habits” which is not a thing anyone says but maybe he was a demon too.

I watched this movie with friends a while back and absolutely hated every part of it, lol. Really not a film made for my tastes.