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So my daughter just picked this lanyard at the dollar shop as she loves capybaras and I bought it thinking nothing of it then I saw this. Can somebody please tell me what the fuck I’m looking at?

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Well, that's sick. The only way I can interpret it is forced sexual assault with threat of injury/death. Can you go back to that store and growl ferociously at management? I'd be pissed if I found something like that in a store, especially where children shop.

WTH! Good thing you looked. This brings to mind a scary paranormal experience told to me years ago…. a story for another day. The lesson here is: Parents, be vigilant!