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My favorite orthopedist says no one over 65 should climb ladders.

Cthulhu Product Safety Commission

I love these, thank you

This species has recently been introduced into North America via the internet, so people need to be warned. Thylarctos plummetus becomes more active this time of year: www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1...

Never leave an open flame or a flame-based device without proper automatic safety mechanisms unattended. Care should be taken when walking with open flames, and you should never run with an open flame.

Also, don't dispose of old jack o lanterns by filling them with flamable liquids and dropping them off bridges... many flamable liquids float and it only takes one thing going wrong to start a fire.

Yep

Too late, I already convinced myself that leaning slightly to the left is faster than moving the base.

Now you tell me.

How long until his hat is recalled for lead paint and his megaphone for containing asbestos? Maybe never if they paid their bribes to the right member of the administration