Guy Ordering Nonalcoholic Beer Has Either Seen A Ton Of Shit Or No Shit At All https://theonion.com/guy-ordering-nonalcoholic-beer-has-either-seen-a-ton-of-shit-or-no-shit-at-all/
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Check if he's wearing Mormon magic underwear, if so, he hasn't seen anything. Or just poke him in the liver and see if he winces.
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