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Yep. I call this being lonely for a place I've never been. It's easy to get lost in this feeling if I don' catch myself.

I like your expressive language here. I used to get "lost" more easily when shame had a stronger hold. At least for me, self-compassion really was a requisite, otherwise I'd just spiral into despair. I'm genuinely curious - what does "catching yourself" look like? Hope you don't mind the probing. ❤️‍🩹

I'm currently watching the Big Bear eagle family on the Friends of Big Bear eagle cams and the care and concern the mom and dad eagle show towards their babies remind me of the lack of care and concern my parents had for me. These eagles show love and care more than my parents did for me.

I know exactly your experience. Seeing caring family systems in movies - or in nature! - can spring strong emotions. It used to trigger shame spirals because I thought I wasn't a good enough kid, some healing and self-compassion has helped. I'm sorry you experienced this, its so tough. ❤️‍🩹

I'm so sorry you thought the way they treated you was because of you! I felt the same way. EMDR therapy is helping me move through all of the trauma and my therapist is teaching me how I can parent my little self the way she deserved to be parents. I hope you are making strides as well!