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bleakly thinking about 2021 when i was desperately trying to channel my decade of experience with abnormal mapping into hopefully getting a salaried, stable job and now like. literally none of them are left. games media essentially nuked from orbit

lots of weird emotions all tied up in watching it fall apart. a decade ago the dynamic was that there was a ton of justified resentment from marginalized independent writers, whose work would go viral and get quoted as proof of the industry's vibrancy, from websites that would never ever hire them

this happened to me with god of war in 2018. my piece is linked in the polygon top 50 article, as evidence of the game's impact providing such thoughtful and exciting criticism. i wrote it while living with my sister after being kicked out of home. my freelance success never did lead to a job lol

i have no idea what advice i'd give to someone looking to do games criticism today. i hold on to a distant optimism that in time, in the wake of the collapse of games media and with investors abandoning games entirely, a smaller and less commercial games culture emerges in its wake but. lol. yknow

if there is one lesson it is: never hustle. it is not worth it. everyone works hard. the success stories work hard. the failures you'e never heard of work hard. the people who got laid off worked hard. it is not the determining factor in anything. set yourself free. do only what you love