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Fine, yes, I'm going in. Mute this thread if you need to.

lol okay, here's the revised schedule -- Trump is supposed to speak FIRST. He has said he wants to speak for two hours to prove he can. This speech is planned to start at 11pm EST.

Okay. Now it's an "abbreviated" speech due to the extreme weather, followed by a B1 Lancer flyover (y'know, the stealthy-at-night planes...), and then the poppiest, most biggly firework show, etc etc etc.

oh hell I'm going to have to turn on Fox for this, to make sure there are no cutaways, aren't I

Preeeeeeetty sure the marching orders for these hosts were "talk about the amazing crowd size" because they haven't stopped talking about the enormous crowd size. Narrator voice: The crowd is not enormous.

lol the Fox news crew says this will be a highly unifying speech and it won't be politicized due to the solemn nature of the event Because we are all new here

I'm not saying Greenwood's "God bless the USA" is tedious, I'm just saying I got five paragon points in the helltide before he shut tf up. Anyhow here's Trump, here we go.

CROWD SIZE CROWD SIZE CROWD SIZE 150,000 PEOPLE "You are very special people and we have a very special country."

Sir, put down the superlatives, you're drunk.

Okay, this isn't a speech, this is so far just him yelling dates and adjectives. No Airing of the Grievances yet, which really surprises me. He's really sticking to the historical platitudes and nothing too pointy.

aaaaaaand he's bringing out one of the oldest American flags The Smithsonian better make sure that gets back to the collection, just saying.

OOOPS he's off, he's going off on "The Communists."

They hauled him back, he's off the "we hate the communists" and is back to the speech-adjacent thing