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Gettysburg address: "Some years ago, not sure how many, George Washington and Ben Franklin created America, the country we now live in. They had pretty good ideas. We should keep those ideas going. It's sad that a lot of soldiers had to die recently, but if we remember them, we'll be okay."

Since listening to your friend’s kid brother talk about Avengers: Endgame is exactly as painful as having to endure it yourself, therefore reading a brief description of a movie is the same as watching a movie.