Post

i worry the recent boosts in my followerbase/distance from main on occasion has led to people sorta idolizing me or putting me on a pedestal unchecked, and i just want to make a firm reminder to NEVER FUCKING DO THAT. i dont see myself as just a youtuber and i think it's fucking weird if you do

i wouldnt call myself a super online person or someone that wants to keep a perfect image at all times. there's one i want to paint, and it's not a perfect one. it's just mine. i am playing a character in my sona and you do not know me even slightly well enough to know how i feel about some things.

if you end up feeling betrayed bc someone you like and only know as a performer is not who you thought, you need to re-examine how you attach yourself to people like this as a whole. if they arent taking advantage of it for ill intent, it shouldnt be anyone's business what other stuff they get up to

i have a really bad history with having grown up around people who were prone to infantilizing/treating me like i must be "pure" and it's an extremely disgusting behavior to me. i am not ur blorbo!! if you treat me like so, i don't wanna fucking talk to you! i don't fit that mold! leave me alone.

the way people talk about esp transfems with Any following always weirds me out because there's a Really bad case of "but i want this one to be the normal/pure one" around them. i have Never set that expectation. we're all fucked in the head one way or another. a face is still a face to a leopard.

a lotta things over time have just kinda culminated into this feeling i really don't want to have when thinking about my own work/who sees it. i guess it means i havent been showing more of my self enough and ppl are getting the wrong idea. so please respect that boundary if nothing else.