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how would i even pitch myself if I was well enough to return to web dev Like hi i was a full stack PHP contractor who was already behind on modern JS frameworks in 2018 cause i can't learn outside of work, failed to find a job in 2yrs hunting, and refuse to use agentic tools, wanna take a chance??

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From what I can tell a lot of getting the job is just being able to say a lot of nothing about yourself which is something I have trouble with, I think throwing around buzzwords and all that is a bunch of stupid bullshit. But really it's just more about focus on who you are, than what you aren't.

That being said there's plenty of old code out there that I'm sure you'd be a great fit for maintaining and modernizing. Plus these days it feels like a LOT of companies are going for cookie cutter stuff rather than chasing the latest greatest web developer