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Was talking to @nik.digital earlier and he mentioned he never knew I wrote blog posts outside of the CS stuff. He’d found samwho.dev/blog/having-... and found it funny that I threw my back out waiting for my wife to give birth. 🫠

I like to share this one whenever I can because it’s the most personal piece of writing I’ve ever published. It documents what could have been the worst day of my life, but ended up being one of the best thanks to the NHS. Also to maybe connect with other dads who experienced trauma in childbirth.

A lot of attention goes to the women giving birth, and that’s completely appropriate and I’m not here to hate on that. But I also know a few other dads who went through hell and there weren’t many people around to help them with that when it mattered most. My DMs are always open if you wanna talk.

For me, it was after my 2nd was diagnosed "failure to thrive". Lots of great emotional support and patience for mama, as it should be. I was also terrified he would die but talking about it once got me "you've got to get over yourself" so I didn't for a long time. Glad you had support!

It’s rough out there. The chasm between the “it’s okay to not be okay” discourse (which is great, please continue!) and the real life reactions you get when you admit you need help is large. 🫂

Especially in times of stress, we just can't think as clearly. I understand they were working though their own emotional connex and were just wanting there to be only one problem at a time, maybe. It's hard for everyone in this societal transition.