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My birthday is coming up next week, and I am staring at it warily. Birthdays and I don't always get along. It's not the age, I view that as a badge of honor. It's the buildup and inevitable disaster that follows.

The biggest birthday party I had as a kid was while my grandpa was in the hospital when I turned 5. The loneliest was in 8th grade when I was finally allowed to invite friends and nobody showed up. The absolute shittiest was when I turned 20. And I almost stopped myself from having more at 21.