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inb4: "Well I tried and she bounced right back up!" (Points for whoever gets the ref)

my favourite part is where it turns into gaster for one line

Next there will be a work requirement to apply for unemployment.

by the gods would you please stop causing reality

Ouch

This is the onion

I thought this was supposed to be fun satire not actual news reporting

As has often been the case, like the lobster in the pot

Congree passes work requirements for themselves they must work two weeks a year.

@mdg650hawk.bsky.social They are stupid enough to deny it, too. OMFG.