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The Onion
@theonion.com

“Whether you’ve been sideswiped by a tractor-trailer on a two-lane road or dragged through an intersection by a furniture delivery truck, you can now easily plot a course that fully accommodates your mangled body.” — Jasmine Harper, lead product developer

theonion.comGoogle Maps Introduces Crawling Directions For Cyclists Hit By TruckMOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—Touting the new feature as yet another innovation to help every traveler get where they’re going, Google Maps on Thursday began offering crawling directions for cyclists who have bee...

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