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MOMMM oh my GOD you’re EMBARRASSING ME.

And I still think Mrs Bennet should have a gun.

I wonder what the conversation was like at home when Mrs Bennet got Elizabeth’s note about sick Jane. Mrs B: Jane is unwell! We must go to her! Mr B: Yes, certainly. Mrs B: And I’m bringing all the girls. Mr B: Oh, this is a You project.

My eyes just glaze over every mention of Mr Hurst. Is he important? I just don’t think my brain is meant to comprehend him.

I also think Charlotte should have a gun.

I’m at the part where they’re taking a walk in the woods, and I think Darcy and Elizabeth are flirting, and also Caroline is there doing that thing where she’s trying to charm Darcy by making herself sound a little unworldly and thereby super impressed by him, and it is awkward.

Elizabeth leaves the conversation because someone else joins them, and “the path is too small for all of us,” and I’m having trouble picturing that kind of path. But it occurs to me she’s just grabbing a perfunctory nonsense excuse to leave a social situation, which just makes me root for her.

*someone rude joins the chat* Elizabeth: WELL, I have to go suddenly because uh the sun is at a weird angle that makes our shadows a size that displeases me, so see you later, nice chatting, good-bye. I love her.

I went from “Wow Elizabeth Bennet kinda feels like a manic pick-me dream girl” to “I will take a blunt object to anybody’s car lights if they say a bad word about Liz.” Jane Austen. Is so good.

I think all other protagonists in her mold are just daughters of the manic pixies we couldn’t dream. Elizabeth holds up against any contemporary romance protagonist!

By the beginning of the 12th chapter, Darcy has decided that Elizabeth has stayed too long because he has developed a crush, and he’s noticed that Caroline has been flirtier, so he has feelings that are too big in all directions, and it has to stop. Deeply relatable. I’ve turned around on him too!??

Ah, we’ve met Mr Collins, and he appears to be some sort of, like… fuddy duddy pickup artist type? He talks about women kinda like they’re other people’s pets. It’s weird.

We’re also spending time with a soldier called Wickham, who is described as a hot man with ample charisma. It almost seems mean to have him share chapter space with Collins, which suggests I’m gonna eventually dislike Wickham even more than Collins, if the pattern of this book continues.

Jane Austen, always deftly getting me to root for characters I dislike by introducing even more highly unlikable characters.

So this whole time Collins is surveying the estate he’s gonna inherit, the Bennets’ home (I think? I assume?), which sets him up as something of a looming threat. He also takes a liking to his hot cousin Jane, which seems to make sense, but I still think he kinda lacks imagination.

OH he’ll *settle* for Elizabeth if Jane is unavailable lmao I hate this odious little loser.

So by the time we meet Wickham, the experience is like, “Wow, finally, a hot man,” and it’s kind of incredible the whiplash we experience. And Elizabeth seems to take a liking to him, BUT—

Wickham seems to have some hot goss (or at least some prickly opinions) about Darcy, which makes Elizabeth’s ears perk up, and I think we’re supposed to be unsure whether it’s because she’s interested in Wickham himself or if she’s very interested to hear about Darcy! Jane Austen is so good at this.

Oh my god Wickham is diaBOLICAL.

So he starts to suggest a relationship with Darcy, grabbing Elizabeth’s attention, then he circles around more pleasant topics for a minute, and THEN he brings up his sob story backstory with Darcy again later, real smooth-like, so as not to be too obviously fixated on Darcy.

LMAO Wickham is like, “This man, who is dead, liked me so very much and wanted me to have a good living, rest his soul, this dead man, who definitely liked me so so much.” I almost admire him.

“No no, he didn’t put me in his will, you see, because he liked me so much it was obvious I had a bequeathment just based on vibes, but then his hardass son elected to ignore the positive vibes because he’s just a jerk, I can only guess. 😔” Wickham you slick, slippery bastard lmao

OH MY GOD Liz, even when she’s starting to be charmed by this boy, has the wherewithal to ask why Darcy wouldn’t honor the vibes-based bequest to Wickham (I love her, what a gal), and he has the gall to be like, “Darcy? Probably jealous.”