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the stupidest thing about being an artist working through a huge amount of your own internalised bullshit is that, like bullshit, it's incredibly fertile ground for work & if you're even a little bit circumspect it just looks like a connected body of work or a fixation on some symbolism-

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-but because You know what most of it is, it it feels incredibly, hamhandedly obvious & masturbatory, so much so that you want to complain but if you had a clearer idea HOW to complain, it wouldn't need to be art, so Doing So is calling yourself out & attention to whatever wank is actually present

ofc i spend a lot of time feeling like everything about me is obvious and visible and contrived for a number of reasons i'm only recently digging through so this may also just be a me thing & i may actually be talking out of my ass