Stan Kelly

*BOLSONARO: FEDERAL POLICE REQUESTED I GIVE THEM MY PASSPORT

Kandy Korn Konoisseurs! @theonion.com

@theonion.com

Remember: It’s All Hallow’s EVE, not All Hallow’s STEVE. @theonion.com

This Weeks Editorial Cartoon: Macklemore or Less https://theonion.com/macklemore-or-less/

Himfluencer. @theonion.com

“Sham-I-Am” - Dr. Seuss @theonion.com

My latest, from me to you with love …

It’s that time of year again, when we see who the REAL ALPHAS are … @theonion.com

Together again … in Heaven. @theonion.com

New York State declares a “Measles Emergency”* (*Latest Fad) Thankfully, help is on it’s way ... @theonion.com @governor.ny.gov

This Weeks Editorial Cartoon: Hiding in Plane Sight https://theonion.com/hiding-in-plane-sight/

What the Ale?? @theonion.com

This seems unfair to Sickos …

Do your Patriotic Doody! @frogmustard.bsky.social

Her new album just hit #1, and her latest single is “Different Religion.” What’s wrong with the regular kind??* (*The Jesus one) @theonion.com

Never get out of the car. @theonion.com

As students return to campus, there’s a “chill” in the air ... @theonion.com

NEW!!!! Bumper Sticker collab with @frogmustard.bsky.social

What you might call a “Seasonal” Allergy … @theonion.com

Spotted in Portland, city of Sickos. This beauty was last year’s patriotic collaboration with FrogMustard. Watch for the 2026 Kelly/FrogMustard bumpersticker to be announced soon … maybe this week! @frogmustard.bsky.social

The midterms are coming. 45 days to turn things around ... @theonion.com

I was asked to create this T-Shirt design for “Riot Fest” - a music festival* (*Latest Fad) in Chicago this weekend. WARNING: It’s sure to be jam-packed with No-Good Punks and Rap Bands. Stop by The Onion booth, and tell ‘em Kelly sent ya. @theonion.com @riotfest.bsky.social

Why? Why must they ruin our Great Nation?

Who will they give an Emmy to next, Attila the Hun?!? @colbertlateshow.bsky.social

This Weeks Editorial Cartoon: The World According to Harp https://theonion.com/the-world-according-to-harp/

As we reflect, it’s incumbent upon all of us to remember how the destruction of 9/11 extended … to the 2008 presidential primaries. @theonion.com

The most ominous threat since 9/11 ... theonion.com/home-heeled-...

Thank you, Gloria Steinem … we’ve come a long way, baby! @theonion.com

If the Supreme Court of yesteryear had half the wisdom of our current Justices, JFK would be alive today! @theonion.com

That time of year again. Why can’t we Normal Folks eat in peace? @theonion.com

Hits a little too close to Homer. @theonion.com

“Lake America” … why not “Lake Trump”?!?! Have we learned nothing?? @theonion.com

Maharishi = SICKO

Thank God It’s FRYday. @theonion.com

In case you hadn’t heard, National Treasure Funnyman Bill Maher recently won “Mark Twain’s Prize.” Anyone Mark Twain likes is good enough for me! Bill also deserves a prize for bravely defending America from the Writer’s Guild. Presidential Medal of Freedom perhaps? (Hint, hint!) @theonion.com

Happy Friday.

We live in a discrimi-NATION. @theonion.com

I’m exhibiting my fine art in the that city of Sickos, Los Angeles, yet again. This time as part of a group show opening tomorrow night. I hope my piece will knock some sense into people and get them to choose their words wisely … because words can hurt. 😢 @theonion.com

@theonion.com