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The Onion
@theonion.com

Democratic Leaders Stand Real Still In Hopes No One Notices Them theonion.com/democra...

theonion.comDemocratic Leaders Stand Real Still In Hopes No One Notices ThemWASHINGTON—With the elected officials trying their hardest not to move a muscle, reports confirmed Monday that top Democratic leaders in Congress were standing real still in hopes that the American people wouldn’t notice them. “Don’t make any sudden movements, or they’ll spot us,” Rep. Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY) said out of the corner of his mouth, […]

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