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The Onion
@theonion.com

“Yeah so we’re actually invading Pakistan soon! Nobody is supposed to know that, pretty cool, right?” said Patel, spilling his Don Julio as the bottle girl feigned interest in his long, rambling story.

theonion.comBottle Girl Nods As Kash Patel Screams State Secrets In EarWASHINGTON—Smiling vacantly while the FBI director rattled off classified information over thumping EDM music, local bottle girl Tanya Page reportedly nodded along early Friday morning as Kash Patel s...

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