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the flip side of this is that people also often take not-harsh honest critique as harsh and mean. i was judging a business plan contest once and two contestants said their revenue model was to "sell ads" and i asked them, "have you ever sold ads before?" and i got called "brutally honest" lmao

My kid: Look at my drawing! Me: I'm looking, wow, tell me about it. Honesty isn't the point when you are not even being asked to judge in the first place.

It's one of those little skills that has more uses than you might think, at first :)

I try to put myself in an author’s shoes when I review a book, even if neither they nor anyone else are likely to read my thoughts. I applaud things that I liked and honor things that show promise, even if my holistic critique is negative. Being honestly constructive is just being a good human.

Well, not hard if you aren't invested in your own authority as a critic, if you aren't in the game to dominate. Not hard if you can cultivate some humility. "No pain no gain" is bullshit. Yes, recognizing your failings is sometimes painful and difficult. Consider the

Most peoples' "honest": "This sentence sucks." Real honesty: "there are more clear ways to phrase this" or "I'm not sure what you mean here, what are you intending to say?" Thank you for pointing out the difference.

Random anecdote: I was helping with my nephews (5) school once at an event. They were doing paintings and another adult there whispered to me about how terrible all the art was, rolling his eyes. When I asked why, he said "It all just looks like little kids drawings", well yeah, they're 5 dude?

I subscribe to the belief that those who crow about being "brutally honest" are more interested in being brutal than honest. I have yet to be proven wrong.