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finding a therapist is simple, just contact 50 people, 25 are no longer in network despite their listing, 15 don't answer, 5 have switched to $600/hr life coaching, 2 don't like your vibe, one now only does pets. the one you pick will stop responding and you go with the other one

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I got super lucky and my therapist was a referral from a couples counselor who was completely unable to save the collapsing stellar core that was my relationship at the time (wasn't the counselor's fault, relationship was way past saving, but either way I'm still grateful for the referral)

also I decided to prioritize having a working brain over arguing with insurance companies and have mostly trained myself to not dwell on how much of a car / house / retirement / baroque modular synthesizer setup I've paid out of pocket