Post

Cocaine is not.

Shaun Anderson@hoboweb.bsky.social

"Speed is definitely a ranking factor? YES." John Mueller, Google 2019

@ammonjohns.bsky.social

Well, some of us remember how wild the Caffeine Update was, and definitely don't want to imagine what Google would be like with a Cocaine Update. Maybe try Vallium? Or chill those SERPs right out with a good Cannabis Update?

Or maybe, chill the fuck out all together? We know "updates" are not SERP related, they're Android, and other shit. Just be honest.

12/9/25, 9:44 pm0 reposts1 like

No replies yet.