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jace cavacini
@dysamoria.com

Since there’s dating app discourse: they’re scammy exploitative abuses of human loneliness. Also, here‘s me showing off (normally masked at socially-isolating, alone-amongst-people Planet Fitness outings b/c best friend’s cancer); I deleted OKCupid for being horrific and I have no dating profile:

jace cavacini@dysamoria.com

She ❤️ the photo (fresh haircut) in iMessage; broke up w/me 6 days later 9 years ended from 2038 miles away I’ve no idea how to start again. 50. Poverty. PTSD. My only assets: a house; my personality. Stuck in a conservative, cigarette-addicted region where atheists, vegans, progressives, are rare

jace cavacini
@dysamoria.com

As for “out & about”… where?? I’ve been going to the hospital of the University of PA daily, for 3 weeks, taking care of my best friend in her cancer treatment, longing at the beautiful women (nurses, etc) I‘ve no right to even look at. Makes me want to die. There’s nowhere for me to find anyone.

wombatpm.bsky.social
@wombatpm.bsky.social

Bring the staff bagels or doug hnuts or coffee for taking good care of your friend. Smile, chat, just talk and be a person. I don’t have PTSD But I have depression, and it sounds like you might as well. You might want to consider meds. Starting over at 50 sucks.

jace cavacini
@dysamoria.com

yes, I have depression along with the PTSD Psych drugs: my personal experience is that they literally almost killed me. They fucked up my personality, which worsened my life circumstances for many years, leaving me unemployed and disabled, and it took me two years to get off of them.

jace cavacini
@dysamoria.com

I had pets (cats; dogs aren’t for me). They have both died (it’s been years and it still hurts). I will never go through that again. I also don’t want the responsibility alone. Even if I could emotionally handle the end of life part of more pets, I will not enter into that responsibility alone.