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Here's what I've decided—Mr Knightley is imaginary, and his imaginary age will be 26. Sorry Jane Austen, but you were incorrect about Canonically Sexy Colonel Fitzwilliam, and you are incorrect about Knightley's age. He is now 26 (for the purposes of this read/thread). *refiles the manila folder*

Anyway, Emma is taking credit for fixing up Miss Taylor with Mr Weston four years ago (when Emma was fifteen or sixteen??? And already a busybody???). Both Mr Woodhouse and Mr Knightley are like, "Stop doing that," and Emma's like, "But it's my favorite thing!!!"

Mr Knightley is like, "Emma you did not match-make Miss Taylor and Mr Weston. You shipped them in your HEAD and then they fell in love." LMAO the way... I have been guilty of this...

Cool cool, so every time I read an Austen book I will encounter a character who is a little bit embarrassing, and I will invariably see myself in said embarrassing character. Is that correct? Is this her whole deal? I'm not even done with chapter one!

Am I to understand that Miss Taylor and Mr Weston are a grumpy/sunshine pairing according to Mr Knightley

Knightley: Don't set people up anymore. Emma: Okay, one last score. Mr Woodhouse: I'm too old for this shit.

She's gonna do her last matchmaking before her official retirement from the game on a Mr Elton, a pretty young man according to Mr Woodhouse, who is the same age is Mr Knightley. Exactly the same age. Down to the nanosecond, they are exactly and precisely the same age, which is 26.

Emma is the most bored young woman in the world. I imagine her life is like when you beat a video game and go into New Game Plus—with all your levels and gear, but no difficulty adjustment—and find that the thrill of the adventure has been blunted by how easy you've made it for yourself.

(You can tell I'm playing Dragon's Dogma 2)

Phew! And that's the first chapter! Man, I thought the characters in Pride and Prejudice were cartoons. If Pride and Prejudice are the Looney Tunes, then Emma is a full-on Tex Avery joint. I'm thrilled.

A little housekeeping—I appreciate everybody looking out for me, but I personally do not mind spoilers! This book is over two centuries old. I do not interpret spoilery replies (in this instance) as antagonistic. Most likely, I will have no idea what you're talking about.

Chapter 2 — I’m learning about Mr Weston, the husband of Miss Taylor, whose first name I still do not know (did I miss it somewhere?) and who is still referred to, both by the book and by its principle characters, as Miss Taylor in spite of her being Mrs Weston now.

He seems to have been a nice guy from a moderately well-considered family that was steadily on the make, and he joined the military.

Soon after, he catches the attention, followed by the affection, of Miss Churchill, a nice young lady from a decidedly important and well-to-do family who *disapproved. She’s stubborn and in love! I’m sure these crazy kids are gonna make it. * “infinite mortification”

Okay, they refer to Miss Churchill as Mrs Weston as soon as she’s married in spite of the Churchills absolutely loathing the union, and here Miss Taylor is still Miss Taylor despite—WAIT.

Those crazy kids do not make it after all???

It just hit me, a ding dong and an airhead, that Miss Taylor is the second Mrs Weston, so what happened to Mrs Weston née Churchill??

Oh she died.

Okay wait. So Miss Churchill marries Captain Weston over the loud and very rich objections of her parents. Three years later, Mrs Weston née Churchill dies, leaving Mr Weston a son named Frank.

Frank becomes a reason for Mr and Mrs Churchill to reconcile with Mr Weston, and since all their kids are grown and married (or dead, as it happens), they decide to raise Frank, so Frank Weston apparently becomes Frank Churchill when he comes of age.