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A lot of Americans don't know this, but the winner of the Canadian election will be required live in a small cottage located in the backyard of the palace where the viceroy to the King of England lives. The cottage just recently got a new wifi router, which was very exciting for all Canadians.

The Canadian election is actually 338 local elections. After the votes are counted, the winners will gather in a big room to vote on a ceremonial leader, and then drag him kicking and screaming to sit in a big chair, which is tradition because the King of England used to chop off people's heads.

In Canada, when our head of government needs to make an extremely important decision, we call that "going for a long walk in the snow."

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While American political scandals are typically called a "-gate" after Watergate, in Canada we also have political scandals, but we call them a "fuddle-duddle" for reasons I can't really go into right now.

The late Canadian journalist Allan Fotheringham came up for a much better word for the Iran/Contra scandal than anything ending in "gate:" Iranamok. That really should have grown legs.

Only a few years ago it was literally illegal to tweet about Canadian election results on election night, because we didn't want British Columbia to know what was happening. People seriously discussed whether the federal government might send somebody to jail for tweeting.

While Canada has 10 provinces and 3 territories, arguably the most important political delineation is "Upper Canada" and "Lower Canada" which is best understood as a sort of national historical dom/sub thing.

Once upon a time I was with my brother outside of a pub in Charlottetown and he ran into someone he hadn't seen in a while. The actual conversation. "Where you been?" "Hiding out in Upper Canada."

Canada has five politically significant islands: - Montreal - Vancouver - Prince Edward - Newfoundland - Cape Breton Each of these islands is confusing in various ways.