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Pool restroom story time 🚽 Needed a wee, so went to the hotel’s poolside men’s room. Two cubicles, both in use. And an obese hetty man waiting for one of them Two urinals, both free. Now being a bladder-shy gay, it takes a lot for me to use a urinal. But I needed to go.

I went over to the urinal, and expected the guy to move over. Nope. Didn’t pick up on the social cue whatsoever. Stood 10 cm behind me. By this point, I’d already jumped over the fence 🍆, trying to squeeze it out. So much so that I farted *very loudly* 💀

That was awkward enough. But even more awks cos the guy didn’t budge. So I farted again, this time semi on purpose. Still didn’t move. My attempt at asserting dominance failed. I had to abort, cos that wee weren’t coming. Sigh.

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This story is hilarious and relatable, but I can't say my "pushing a wee" muscles are the same as my "pushing a fart" ones 🤣🤣

Do you not just do a Valsalva manoeuvre to increase your intra-abdominal pressure? To push the wee out of your bladder when you can’t relax Also, when it first happened, I didn’t realise it was me who farted 😂😂😂

I've never heard the name Valsalva before, but yeah - I basically hold my breath and sort of push a muscle which makes the wee come out quicker, but it's very different to the fart-push muscle for me haha (and also when I'm feeling bladder shy, I try and relax, not push harder!)