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Maaaan the Halo remake is exhaustingly Modern in its bullshit... Cortana has all kinds of extra tutorial dialogue. The intro of invisible elites, instead of being a scary moment of guys suddenly dropping dead around you, is her going "Invisible elites!! Look for distortions in the air!" Christ alive

I know from my long history of bitching about this sort of thing that most people don't notice or care when a line is bad or badly delivered, but it's such a bummer to me. Especially since I have the type of memory where I can just mentally play back the .wav of the original recording and compare

Like you're in the vents on the Pillar of Autumn and she goes "My analysis indicates the exit will have a green light on it". There's one exit idiot. It's a vent. I don't need a light and I don't need you to tell me what color it is

It's so dangerous to change shit in a remake, you risk revealing that you didn't get it in the first place which is always going to be the case with these ones that come out of essentially a factory

There are these weird little changes like not revealing the halo until the end of the first chapter (they put it behind the planet instead of in plain sight), and doing so with this big dramatic gregorian chant "oh my god what is THAT?" moment, missing that in the original game nobody cared

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Like that was the coolest part of the vibe of Halo 1. Yeah nobody has ever seen a colossal ringworld before, it has far-reaching implications for all sorts of things. We don't know anyone who cares about that shit though, we're in the middle of a war, we're just landing on it. Literally do not care

There are also all these cool little transition cutscenes missing because someone has said, like, "oh we don't need a level transition anymore we can just have you go up the grav lift into the covenant ship as uninterrupted gameplay". THE TRANSITION WAS COOL YOU IDIOT

this sounds so fuckin rough. complete misunderstanding of what made the original so cool. i played it for the first time a few years back and was amazed at its confidence & self-assuredness, both in comparison to its contemporaries (it's basically an overgrown quake game!) and most of its sequels

Also, look, I'm an Unreal guy, metahumans are sick, you can do a cool stylised metahuman, okay? Okay? Have that in mind when I tell you that Captain Keyes is the most dogshit Stock Metahuman you ever saw. The others all look better. Boring guy, boring voice, for some reason a lot of extra screentime

And he doesn't even smoke a fuckin pipe anymore. I don't know how you trick yourself into thinking your interpretation of "spaceship captain who smokes a pipe" is legitimate when you get rid of the pipe

Which completely fucks the pacing and drama of that cutscene. Interrupt the music, lose the Pillar of Autumn thundering past the escape pod. Then it's "oh and Keyes is flying the Autumn in manually, I guess *shrug*"