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Maaaan the Halo remake is exhaustingly Modern in its bullshit... Cortana has all kinds of extra tutorial dialogue. The intro of invisible elites, instead of being a scary moment of guys suddenly dropping dead around you, is her going "Invisible elites!! Look for distortions in the air!" Christ alive

And even the dialogue that hasn't been changed or recast has been rerecorded to sound smug and/or "he's right behind me isn't he"

I know from my long history of bitching about this sort of thing that most people don't notice or care when a line is bad or badly delivered, but it's such a bummer to me. Especially since I have the type of memory where I can just mentally play back the .wav of the original recording and compare

Like you're in the vents on the Pillar of Autumn and she goes "My analysis indicates the exit will have a green light on it". There's one exit idiot. It's a vent. I don't need a light and I don't need you to tell me what color it is

Cortana has such a good vibe in the original, fun but professional and focused on the thing at hand, very much a military robot. In this she is ... not like that

It's so dangerous to change shit in a remake, you risk revealing that you didn't get it in the first place which is always going to be the case with these ones that come out of essentially a factory

There are these weird little changes like not revealing the halo until the end of the first chapter (they put it behind the planet instead of in plain sight), and doing so with this big dramatic gregorian chant "oh my god what is THAT?" moment, missing that in the original game nobody cared

Like that was the coolest part of the vibe of Halo 1. Yeah nobody has ever seen a colossal ringworld before, it has far-reaching implications for all sorts of things. We don't know anyone who cares about that shit though, we're in the middle of a war, we're just landing on it. Literally do not care

Literally it is a fucking joke bsky.app/profile/brke...

Also, look, I'm an Unreal guy, metahumans are sick, you can do a cool stylised metahuman, okay? Okay? Have that in mind when I tell you that Captain Keyes is the most dogshit Stock Metahuman you ever saw. The others all look better. Boring guy, boring voice, for some reason a lot of extra screentime

And he doesn't even smoke a fuckin pipe anymore. I don't know how you trick yourself into thinking your interpretation of "spaceship captain who smokes a pipe" is legitimate when you get rid of the pipe

dude keyes has like. two things about him how do you take away one of them