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Now, in the broader context of my adolescent development within the socio-spatial milieu of West Philadelphia—an urban environment where my recreational energies were overwhelmingly invested in basketball, often proximate to my immediate educational facility, and where the quotidian rhythms of play

nonetheless culminated in a physical altercation of sufficient intensity to prompt my mother—acting from a rational calculus of protective concern and long-term opportunity maximization—to conclude that my continued residence in said environment was incompatible with her aspirations for my safety

and flourishing, thereby precipitating my relocation, by means of air travel, to the materially privileged enclave of Bel-Air, California, where extended kinship networks could provide a framework for both discipline and new forms of self-realization.

Even though this is really bad, it’s still better than The Sentence because 1) there is actual meaning being communicated; 2) you can mostly read it in a straight line without having to backtrack to understand it.