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This Just In: 𝘼𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙊𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚 orders DARPA to repair the X-Ray glasses he stole as a child, as they now produce "ugly" images. On an unrelated note, a sign was placed outside the Oval proclaiming it to be the "Universal Dressing Room", and no females over 22 - dressed or not - are allowed in.