MCMLXI

Just saw a Starlink ad hawking "fast, affordable internet". Given recent events, the good people of Ukraine may beg to differ. Hopefully Europe will dump him as Canada's been doing. Getting all that night-sky-obscuring crap back out of the sky will be an issue for another day...

Katie Zacharia, already ex WH Press Secretary, has set a new record, her tenure lasting approximately 45% of a Scaramucci. The supposed reason for her departure is that she lied about being an actual lawyer. Apparently the limit on people at 1600 Pennsylvania who are allowed to lie is 1.

This just in: Former Sec. Def. Leon Panetta speaks out against 𝘼𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙊𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚, gets indicted for treason by the Injustice Department...

I guess 𝘼𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙊𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚 really is in decline He has to be idiotic to think Ukraine falling would engender anything but absolute revulsion against him This may occur if they lose their satellite info capabilities Let's hope the other "Vlad" cuts a side deal with the Mustelidae and saves his people

Odd how Article III thinks it's OK to live stream the first military execution in over 65 years, yet they can't do the same with ICE bodycams...

Had an old buddywho is now calling the Red team 𝙍𝙖𝙥𝙚𝙥𝙪𝙗𝙡𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙨

Stayed in a hotel for a few days with a gas station next door offering "Full Service Island". No sign with advertised prices. Didn't see even one car drive in...

This just in: 𝘼𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙊𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚 announces his handler 𝙑𝙡𝙖𝙙𝙙𝙮 𝘿𝙖𝙙𝙙𝙮 will attend the upcoming G20 Summit held at Grift House South in Florida. The remaining G19 elect not to attend.

Saw a billboard advertising "Your Entertainment Escape", with the column sitting in a cemetery...

A boutique his and hers combination fishing and beauty resort called Salmon and Spa.

He says "Impeachment" like it's a bad thing. What Mom said as a kid was true: Too much Kool-Aide rots the brain...

This just in: Former Philadelphia Eagles Safety Brian Dawkins has been signed by DHS for an undisclosed sum...

President Wimpy says: 𝙄 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙜𝙡𝙖𝙙𝙡𝙮 𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙖𝙡 𝙏𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙙𝙖𝙮 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙖 𝙃𝙤𝙧𝙢𝙪𝙯 𝙎𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙩𝙤𝙙𝙖𝙮...

My Fleetwood Mac Top 3: Landslide Hypnotized Little Lies

FTC Chair Andrew Ferguson says "Every act of fraud hurts all of us." Wonder when they're going to start dealing with the cesspool of corruption at 1600 Pennsylvania ...

Willy Wonka (classic Wilder, of course) and lawyer Mitch Landrieu were being interviewed about the economy and upcoming midterms. Landrieu said "𝘾𝙤𝙨𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙢𝙥𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜". Wonka interrupted with his classic line: "Strike that. Reverse it." "𝙏𝙧𝙪𝙢𝙥 𝙞𝙨 𝙘𝙤𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜".

Andrew Weisberg says 𝘼𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙊𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚 ran on a campaign of "America First" but is acting anything but. Perhaps Andrew forgot to run the phrase through the 𝐵𝑎𝑏𝑦 𝐿𝑖𝑎𝑟'𝑠 𝐹𝑖𝑟𝑠𝑡 𝑇𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑠𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑜𝑟 tool, whis is all the rage in despotic circles. What he really said was: America First ... Into the Gutter.

I heard that all cell phone owners in Alabama subscribe to Tee Mobeel

Michael Popok has suggested Congress can save the Kennedy center by just sending it "a hundred or two million dollars". So long as that comes out of the White House budget, sounds like a good idea!

It was reported the Russian Finance Minister was invited by U.S. into a meeting at the G20. Why didn't the other nation's reps immediately walk out?

Fort Worth, Texas county officials have been reportedly been trying to close polling locations - many on college campuses - in advance of the upcoming elections You have to wonder why anyone would want to restrict voting access Oh, yeah, I forgot. They're afraid unless they cheat, they'll lose

Did you hear about the Medium in the median? She got run over by an Insight.

Are there any 𝙧𝙚𝙜𝙪𝙡𝙖𝙧 editions of Legal AF? Asking for a friend.

My mate was the Kodak color correction queen at a photo lab where she worked years ago. She'd look at a print and say, "add magenta", and so on. She likes watching Rachel Maddow, but noticed that compared to whomever the guest might be, she always looks yellow. Wonder what the lighting techs see?

And now another edition of "Let's Try An Update": When it comes to ,𝘼𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙊𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚 the old "in bed" fortune cookie joke is so last year. Here's a new punchline: "Donald Trump it doing a great job. 𝙄𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙀𝙥𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙞𝙣 𝙁𝙞𝙡𝙚𝙨."

When dolphins wave, they're really just flipping you off.

On one of the Sunday shows, Elaine Johnson said a politician's job is to "win elections". That,s funny, I thought their job was to serve their constituents.

Here be it known that, any time the current U.S. Pretender in Chief declares an emergency, it we will be known as a 𝘾𝙤𝙙𝙚 𝙊𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚 situation...

"Winning elections is not rocket science. If it was, I could help with that." Senator Mark Kelly, speaking at a Jon Ossoff rally in Columbus, Georgia.

A recent Reuters poll indicates 𝘼𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙊𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚's approval rating is now around 33%. To paraphrase Meghan Trainor: "It's all about that Base, 'bout that Base..."

Only 78 shopping days until the November elections. Many signs point to a Red Team route. Not because the current Blue Team is that much better, rather that the other guys have so majorly dropped the ball. My hope is that no matter who gets in, they'll actually listen to their constituents.

This Just In: 𝘼𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙊𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚 orders DARPA to repair the X-Ray glasses he stole as a child, as they now produce "ugly" images. On an unrelated note, a sign was placed outside the Oval proclaiming it to be the "Universal Dressing Room", and no females over 22 - dressed or not - are allowed in.

If Hakeem Jeffries hopes to lead the Democratic U.S. House, he really should learn to answer questions directly Asked point blank about nearly any subject and he waxes on about how we all need change We do, but are you against ICE? For or a single payer health system? Just say so. It's not hard

Freshly anointed US AG Toad Bleach has declared he "just wants to do what's right". As lawyers are often known for obfuscating the true meaning of their words, I'd like to know his true meaning. Is it "right"t as in 𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙩, or "right" as in 𝙬𝙞𝙣𝙜? (Spoiler, think I already know.)

Did you hear about the polygamist frog? It was three-toad.

Texas U.S. Senate candidate James Talarico says his opponent Ken Paxton is the "most corrupt politician in America." Well, he's pretty close, but there's a guy at 1600 Pennsylvania who has him beat hands down.

Recent Ad: "Data centers are helping to update Texas's electrical grid." Yeah, like being raped helps you to update your self-esteem.

Random Awesome Quotes: "𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘢 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘯, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘯 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘱𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘧𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘥." Arthur Conan Doyle, 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙇𝙤𝙨𝙩 𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙, 1912

September 22, Rio Grande Valley, First Texas Senate Debate. Moderator: "Each of you will have three minutes for an opening statement. Mr. Talarico, you won the coin toss, and can go first." Patting pockets, looks over at opponent: "I seem to have misplaced my pen, has anyone seen it?"

𝙂𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝘽𝙤𝙮 𝙅𝙤𝙝𝙣𝙨𝙤𝙣, current Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives, increasingly talks about 𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘹𝘪𝘴𝘵 𝘋𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘴. Given his job, one would think the man would have a basic grasp of political systems. Marxism <> Socialism ! Marx & Engles <> Plato, Moore, Saint-Simone, Owen & so many others !

Fragmented First Verse for the current V.P.: Ah, stretch out! That rich Corinthian leather Smooth, baby! On it like a stranger I'm a cushion-loving guy Burnin' Down the Couch!

Here's hoping Barack Obama had had a happy 65th birthday! Now he can finally get off HimCare and get onto MediCare - while it lasts....

I used to only shop at Amazon, but one day realized I was Buy-Curious, so started experimenting with other kinds of store, too.

An old friend used to have "Bored Meetings", a group of us gathering at one bar or another. Have come to wonder if 𝘼𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙊𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚 has a typo in the name of his international group, and it's really "Bored of Peace".

Bernie Sanders says we should all be entitled yo retire with dignity. That's a great sentiment, but I'd rather do it with money, too.

This just in: 𝘼𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙊𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚 announces a ten million percent tariff on any future use of voting booths.

The Save America Act may be Congress's first Fractal Bill: 𝙑𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙄𝙣𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙩𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙯𝙚 𝙑𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙎𝙪𝙥𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣 Should the worst happen, and it actually passes, becomes law, and survives Article III review, one shudders to think what the next iteration would look like.

This just in: Intel set to construct the world's largest stadium, with a capacity of 350 million, so all their new shareholders can attend the annual meeting.

The current U.S. President absolutely detests Joe Biden, and his beloved Amtrak, calling for significant budget cuts to the already beleaguered transportation system in 2027. It's looking like another sad case of 𝙏𝙧𝙪𝙢𝙥 𝘿𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙞𝙡𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙎𝙮𝙣𝙙𝙧𝙤𝙢𝙚.

I wonder how big a company Unilever could become if they rebranded as Duo, or Tri, or Quadlever.