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The year is 2031. It's a Friday. I am trying to request PTO My manager is an agent named Claudio. My form was replaced 2 years ago by an agent named Clodio Clodio CLI was replaced by a Clodio Slack agent Slack was replaced by Slok Slok's latest model is Epithet Someone is hallucinating…

Me: I want to take July 30th off. For the full day Slok: Anastrophic Claudio was, in their decision to pay future time Me: Wat‽ That's how PTO works. I accumulate hours and take them off. I want to take off July 30th Slok: A tongue shriller — Caesura — than all the days. Beware ides of March!

Me: Wat‽ No. I want time off in July. Only July. July 30th. In 2031. Slok: Amplification by any other name would smell as sweet Me: Dude I just want Wednesday off. Can I take Wednesday off? Please. Can you ask Clodio? Slok: [thinking]

Slok: My words fly up; my thoughts remain below. Requests without hours never to Clodio go. Circumlocutive ponderings flow Me: I don't have enough hours? I do. Just ask Clodio. Clodio is still here, right? Slok: Clodio Clodio wherefore art thou Clodio. Deny thy service, refuse thy name.

Me: Oh God no. Stop. Slok: 503 Clodio not found Me: Slok, where did Clodio go? Slok: 503 is fun for me and fun for tea! Me: Slok, please ask Claudio to approve my time off. Slok: 518 YOU'RE A TEAPOT Me: That can't be a real error. JUST APPROVE MY PTO! Slok: [thinking]