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Even in victory they’re such miserable little wretches

He’s still onboarding and doing all the HR courses about locking your workstation and it’s the worst time of his life.

He's trying to gain sympathy by pretending to sacrifice himself & family. none of this mattered while he was undermining democracy: spreading election lies, conspiracy theories, attacking the press, vilifying opponents, & eroding trust in Gov. institutions while deepening extremism & civic distrust

Hahahahaha

Cry harder, Bing-Bongino.

He can fuck his feelings.

Find your bootstraps, Dan. You sound too whiny to be a real patriot.

Snowflakes fall harder as they melt

Got to admit second pic is divorced behavior

In more ways than one, evidently.

Say, I'd been hoping to get a job as an interpretive ranger with the NPS after I graduated next year, but DOGE scuppered that idea. How many millions do Trump and Musk owe me?

Trump is way too emotional to govern effectively.

Being a full time troll was a lot more fun. Whomp whomp.

Meanwhile, when offered more Dan, more often, his wife is like ...

“Life comes at you fast, Dan.”

I’m constantly amazed that these people want to take on jobs that they’re unprepared entirely for and that will crush them

Somehow they're always the both the heroes and the victims of their own narratives. It's quite a trick.

Yup. Sounds like a Freudian slip and his wife is divorcing the whiny bastard. She doesn’t want to be Mrs Bongo anymore and that makes him so sad. Nobody’s ever been this sad before in the history of history

Turns out that public service is hard, unglamorous work and people make real sacrifices to serve. You’d think some of these jerks might take the lesson, but no.

can vouch

What does Dan Bongino, Tom "Fiction" Fitton, Joe Rogaine and RFK Jr have in common?

Ms. Bongino was unavailable for comment as no one has seen her since he moved to D.C. Rumor has it she hasn't been this happy & carefree since before she met him, and she can be found on a beach in the Caribbean with a drink in hand singing, "Ding Dong. The Dan is dead..."

No one wants to work anymore

I feel sorry for him , not only has he had to live with a name that sounds like an instrument played in a calypso band but he was second choice to feckin Kash Patel….!!

Is...is that why his wife is struggling? Stop wearing it on date night Dan.

Maybe he should stop whining and start doing his fucking job? Don’t like it, Danny? Fucking quit, dude. It’s a free country…for now!