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I haven’t posted anything controversial in a while, I think, so here goes: C is for crouch. It’s not Control. It should be C. You can easily hit C with your thumb, as well as jump, so you can crouch jump. Ctrl is way too far down for a pinky to hit in the heat of battle.

ZQSD are the proper move keys. Now, as you read this, horrified at the image you have of your phalanges twisting to unnatural shapes for those keys, do mind I use an AZERTY keyboard. And as you find relief, know that your previous horror is what I endure every. single. game. until I remap the keys.