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Step one: be 17 in 2009. Step two: buy a £100,000 house with 100% bank financing immediately after the global financial system has fallen through its own arse. Step three: because you're too young to own it legally, have your stepdad go on the deeds. Why, many are asking, aren't Gen Z doing this?

The interview doesn't explain what the lender understood about that arrangement, which feels like quite an interesting detail to glide past. But never mind. By 20 he had seven properties, helped by buying when, in his own words, sellers couldn't sell and were trapped in negative equity.

To recap the universal wealth formula: • be 17 during the aftermath of a historic financial crash • obtain 100% property finance • have a family member able to hold the property legally • acquire distressed assets • wait Young people simply don't want it enough.

He also says blaming landlords for high rents makes no sense because “the market determines the price”. My brother in Christ, YOU ARE THE MARKET. The rent isn't delivered to your house each morning by the Bank of England's weather balloon.

His advice for young people includes sourcing property deals, forming joint ventures and finding investors. Which is useful. Next week: “Can't afford lunch? Have you considered a leveraged acquisition?”

Then his monthly budget. £100k income. £45,833 rent. £20k charity. £20k travel. £6k utilities. £5k food. £2k wife's “no questions asked” money 🚩 £98,833 in all. And somewhere, Martin Lewis has just felt a disturbance in the Force.

I particularly enjoyed learning that the £6,000 monthly utility bill is partly because of the swimming pool, hot tub and sprinkler system. Young people: have you considered cancelling Netflix? Samuel: regrettably the hot tub continues to exert inflationary pressure.

He also wants us to know the outfit he's wearing cost less than £100. This comes shortly after telling us he spends £550,000 a year renting his Dubai home and £20,000 A MONTH on travel. Avocado-toast discourse has achieved its final form.

The real problem isn't that he's rich, insufferable, full of shit, or even that he's a landlord. It's the trick whereby a person's own success is presented as proof that structural constraints don't exist. “I managed it” becomes “anyone can”. “Anyone can” becomes “poverty is your own fault”.