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Hey, this isn’t going to be easy to write, but I truly believe it’s important to talk openly about mental health and the times when we’re struggling, just as we share our happy moments and success stories. So, over the past 2–3 years it has become increasingly difficult for me to paint or draw.

It’s something that’s been slowly progressing over the years. Lately, even sitting down in front of a paper feels almost impossible. It’s like the part of me that has always made me want to draw and paint, since I was a child, has slowly faded away, and I don't know how to bring it back.

I often think about the Nothing from The Never Ending Story. That’s what it feels like sometimes, as if I can’t feel anything anymore and nothing really matters to me. And somewhere along the way, the spark that once made me want to create art just disappeared.

I’ve also spent the past few years dealing with a family member struggling with severe mental health issues and addiction, who has repeatedly threatened me for money and tried to break into my house. After years of trying to help, I finally set boundaries, but things have only gotten worse since.

I’m already a very anxious person, but I think not feeling safe in my own home has only made things worse. A lot of times, when I come back from a convention, I just sit in my car because I don’t want to go home. I have to force myself to drive back.

On top of that, constant issues with manufacturers have left me feeling really burned out from producing merch. I’m tired of the quality of my products being affected by things outside my control, even when I’ve spent a ton of money. But I love creating merch, but it's getting harder everyday.