Post

Mysterious Illness In Congo Kills Dozens theonion.com/mysterious-i...

27/12/24, 9:14 pm106 reposts1.6K likes

@glennmuir.bsky.social

"And it seems to happen near this 'Ebola River' or whatever the fuck it's called!"

@disturbeco.bsky.social

Perfection

pnellesen.bsky.social

@pnellesen.bsky.social

This is almost not satire (and I'm not sure about the "almost")

@wigirldad.bsky.social

New wave medicine: we're letting God choose. Unless, of course, you have the premium plan.

@dtk371.bsky.social

Repeating the same mistakes over and over again. Keeps the historians in business.

Dunce Confederate

@crumpeta.bsky.social

Wait a minute. Wasn’t this guy a cutlery organizer earlier in the week? I’m starting to think the Onion is not serious.

@008zulu.bsky.social

Mysterious makes it sound sexy!

@andrewsoule.bsky.social

Wouldn't be that surprised if the USA created a virus simply to make billionaires richer through healthcare investments.

@capitalismhater.bsky.social

How come it's always a mysterious illness, why don't they let the well known illnesses get some killing in

@spacemarkl.bsky.social

RFK jr. will bring back the famous measles and polio for a killing spree

@flat-mars.bsky.social

There's also the mutated bird flu. I have a nagging feeling of another 2020 like pandemic within the next 4 years with incompetent leaders like last time around.

@hearadhrob.bsky.social

No, not quite like that. Bird flu, so far, has killed 50% of the people infected. Think on that.

@flat-mars.bsky.social

Wow. Thanks for scaring me even more.