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Any parents who refuse will be shipped off to Guantanamo for daring to displease the God Emperor of America and their children will be given up to 'True American Patriots'™️

Every time I see this image it’s like Look I can write cursive!

Ok Fransisco Trumpo

Even elon's X?

Nobody is permitted to wear sideburns due to Ambrose Burnside being a Yankee general.

I have so much sympathy for the writers of political satire in these dark times where lampooning absurdist articles often end up being used by regime policy wonks to generate the next days press releases.

What an IDIOT!!!

Trump's crazy enough to do that to his diverse woke MAGA voters!

Is this even legal??

Who is this new child? “General Lee!!” But that’s the name of your car, and your current girlfriend… “Yeeeeeehaaah”

When they renamed Fort Benning to Fort Moore that was fantastic. Now that Trump forced the army to revert back to Fort Benning does anybody understand what an insult that is to General Moore and his family? For context General Moore was portrayed by Mel Gibson in We Were Soldiers.

what if they just have time machines....

Coming to a future near you soon...all immigrants naturalized as citzens when Biden was in office will have their citizenship voided and be deported to Gaza. All people in Gaza are then to be sent to the Sudan to be sold into slavery then returned to the U.S. to pick cotten. MAGA right?

Drugs plus something else to tone him down to make him go away.👹😈💩

So that’s why we’re seeing an uptick in boys named Tecumseh.

🤣

Please don't give him ideas!

O's job is getting tough.

WTF?

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Whatever floats his boat. Just like the Covid-19 bleach drinkers under his direction, I have no doubt there will be parents who will comply with this latest edict. It appears America is officially a moderate to severe special education nation with one teacher in the room and no aides.

drive.google.com/file/d/1JBq-...

Trump seeks to rename himself as Foghorn Leghorn. “I always liked that chicken cartoon “

youtu.be/hh7Cxt_PKqw?...

He's been playing with himself AGAIN, hasn't he?

The man has totally lost it.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/States_...

🤦🏻‍♀️

I’m absolutely convinced Trump’s sole function is signing documents ( he’s never read, perhaps blank), placed in front of him. Someone trots him out occasionally to speak inanely to the press or whomever.

About on par with "Gulf of America"

Don’t give him ideas. At this point, this headline could become reality with the snap of a finger.

Trump was petty enough to try and rename a mountain named under the Obama administration, it wouldn't be a stretch to say he would also be this level of petty.

I don't know what makes me more angry, that the Onion would publish such a stupid joke, or that when I read the headline I wasn't surprised at all by the content, given the febrile idiot occupying the Chief Executive position. Don't give that asshole ideas, please.

😁🤣

😂😂😂

Appoints New Official to Cabinet To Feminize Generals' Names. "It's a very serious proposition, making sure the girls have feminine names. We may need to research these fine Confederate generals' wives to some degree, but a list will be issued soon. As soon as next month."

Shortly followed by executive orders: Changing references of "Mr. President" to "Der Furor" Making not owning a Tesla a felony. Authorizing a three dollar bill with his picture on it. Annexing Fantasy Island. Changing Hispanic holiday Cinco de Mayo in US to Stinko de Trumpo

Don't give him ideas, plz.

It would be easier to change trumps name to " deceased "

Under threat of deportation if they don't comply.

The Onion gets it right every time!

Don’t give him ideas!

It's a roblox username from 2012

Not sure what to do? Here’s a resource where you can find protests and other pro-democracy actions to take: open.substack.com/pub/publicen...

I almost spit out my coffee

lol

Lol

What a mess.

😂😂😂😂

Lmfao I read that, immediately go "sounds like something he would do." Then read "the Onion" and actually laughed because you got me. 😂

I LOVE you guys at The Onion!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👍👍👍👍👍

My son just said you have to do so much stretching because we're basically living The Onion.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

This is a joke, right?

All those born before Biden's term are to be re-named after Hitler's generals.

Not beyond the pale for any country to have an approved list of names. It's only satire because it's not happening in the US lol

Chat is this real?

For now! I don’t know how they come up with the 💩 they are doing now.

Happy they finally found something barely more surreal than the times.