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Stop repeating yourself. bsky.app/profile/theo...

Shoulda left well enough alone at the Bonobos. 😝

If God hadn’t meant for us to masturbate, he would have made our arms shorter.

I think that just means you're supposed to get a partner every now and then. We'd go extinct if we could do it all on own.

Um. I'm an archangel. I can't in goodfaith let you call this satire. This is closer to the truth than you realize.

It's why to never sit naked on someone's bedspread.

I'm hoping you guys are going to put out a "State of the Onion" address.

Man breaks world record for disproving "hair will grow on your palms" hypothesis by masturbating for nine decades straight

Hehehe

I have discovered my purpose

I knew that.

Every teenage boy since the beginning of the species already knows this.

Okay, but can I still imagine that it's a sin sometimes?

Oh that note, BRB...

I’m getting into super heaven then for sure

shorturl.at/D9vd9