Post

Adds up to 100! Would it have been funnier if it hadn’t? 🤔

25% is easily off by a factor of 3

@averygoodyear.bsky.social pick one

I join a sex cult AND get a dad!?

Real Contemplation Hours are 4 am - 6 am

Brilliant!

You killed it on the internship “opportunity”

Masturbate: 98%

I never picked “interning at dad’s sex cult” for any post-graduation plans (I’ve had a few. Graduations.) It just sounds more awkward than anything. Being killed by a spike trap sounds marginally more fun than that. 🤔

An impressive thing about this is that the percentages add up to 100. Well done, Onion

At 78, it's hard to find a cap after 60 years of lying around in the middle of nowhere. Maybe the grandkids stuffed it away tho.

wait, your recruiter left a sweets trail?

Paying taxes to fund Trumps ballroom by working at a job that pays too much to get medicare and too little to afford food