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Good morning BSky, let's talk about why "Im bisexual which means I unfortunately fancy some cis men" is fucking bullshit.

You may gather from this thread that I'm in a fucking foul mood.

Right. First off. And least politically important. It's a shit joke. I love a joke, to the extent that I OFTEN choose funny over true (and indeed funny over nice). I like wit. I am attracted to it. This. Ain't. It. It's not witty and it's not original. It's tired and its boring, and

if you say it, I'm gonna assume YOU'RE tired and boring too.

ANYWAY. Now shall we get on to the real stuff?

Cis men are the least likely gender group to accept come out to their friends and family. Do you think your little joke helps? You can choose not to date cis men - my Feeld and Her profiles both specifiy ABCD, but if you want the bi+ communities to be for ALL bi+ people, if you want bi+ men to

feel that they have a sanctuary in the community and that they won't be rejected by their fellow bis LIKE THEY FEAR EVERYONE ELSE WILL stop fucking saying that shit.

And finally. That shit is straight up biphobic. STOP APOLOGISING FOR WHO YOU'RE ATTRACTED TO. Stop letting bullshit systems of queer hierarchy tell you that attraction to all genders is somehow less queer, or less pure, or less worthy. It's not feminist to apologise for who you desire.

Casting any part of your attraction as unfortunate is exactly what biphobes want you to do. Remember, biphobia is not fear/disgust of same gender loving, it is fear of bothness. Of neither/nor-ness. Do not make shame around one or more parts of your pattern of attraction ok.

How are we supposed to make bisexualities acceptable when (mainly) cis women are running round shouting about unfortunate it is that they're not gay? Do you know how many bi+ women legitimately struggle with that? If you're hearing endless discourse about how bi+ women shouldn't bring their

(implied straight, cis) boyfriends to Pride and you response is to say, yes, quite right, men are all absolute arseholes and Im sorry I fancy them, are you serving yourself or your haters? Are you serving your community or the people who don't want to see it existing?

This is such a good thread, Libby. What I find uncomfortable is how it plays into essentialism. This idea that men are inherently problematic and other genders are inherently unproblematic. It ignores the structures that enable misogyny and lets abusers off the hook because they happen not to be men

I probably should have got my coffee before I decided to hate the world. Soz.