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The following is REAL footage from Portland, 2025. Viewer discretion is advised.

The hilarity continues, let's laugh the bastards out of power.

Captain, have we subdued the Froggy Liberation Front and neutralized the Unicorn Resistance? Yes, Madam Secretary, all perimeters are secure as we prepare for the Naked Bike Ride offensive.

Has this been of the cover of PEOPLE magazine? What are you waiting for?