2chaotic

2chaotic

@2chaotic.bsky.social

Digital raccoon diving around the net, navigating his 30's || Twitch Streamer || Professional Airhead || He/Him. ADHD/ASD || 18+ only. https://linktr.ee/2chaotic

1.3K followers812 following2.6K posts

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2chaotic
@2chaotic.bsky.social

It's #AirborneAugust time again, and since everyone keeps urging, #blimplock time to keep your racc hopelessly buoyant. ❤️ = 2 hours 🔁 = 4 hours 💬 = 6 hours (only counting 1 per person!) Might throw in extra if you really wreck me... Art credits in their alt texts <3

2chaotic reposted

Ankelay-Fuecocolover, Weird Route (Open Comms)
@ankelay.bsky.social

wawawa happy birthday round guy!! I hope u have a great time today but need more helium

2chaotic@2chaotic.bsky.social

Once more a year passes as I float around this grand world. I'm glad I've been able to spend it with here with all of you wonderful people in my life. I hope for many more years spent with good friends and good times. And lots of balloons, definitely lots of balloons. Yes, balloons.

2chaotic
@2chaotic.bsky.social

Once more a year passes as I float around this grand world. I'm glad I've been able to spend it with here with all of you wonderful people in my life. I hope for many more years spent with good friends and good times. And lots of balloons, definitely lots of balloons. Yes, balloons.

2chaotic
@2chaotic.bsky.social

We love waking up from nightmares where everyone around gives you the cold shoulder, excludes you from everything while simultaneously making it very clear that every clique does not want you around, no matter how much I tried to be friends with people.

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2chaotic
@2chaotic.bsky.social

The Internet, for all it's wonder, allows this scar to really itch sometimes with how it lets me see so many people and not be able to be in everything with everyone. I know I can't be everywhere and only have so much time, but it still gets to me when I'm not in things, no matter how unrealistic.

2chaotic
@2chaotic.bsky.social

I'm just scared to be alone again. I'm deathly scared that no one wants me. I'm scared of being used and discarded and the butt of jokes and never getting over these dumb untrue nightmares. Weh.

2chaotic
@2chaotic.bsky.social

We love waking up from nightmares where everyone around gives you the cold shoulder, excludes you from everything while simultaneously making it very clear that every clique does not want you around, no matter how much I tried to be friends with people.

View full thread
2chaotic
@2chaotic.bsky.social

Even though I know most of this is not real, nightmares like this that exaggerate the selfish, controlling, isolating, manipulative qualities of people are still able to scare me into a cold sweat because I lived that. I lived having no one. I lived being passed up and discarded.

2chaotic
@2chaotic.bsky.social

I don't know how to heal this wound. I don't think it ever will. It triggers a deep anxiety in me sometimes when I see friends doing anything that gives me FOMO because when I'm not included it scares me that this is the start of being discarded again.

2chaotic
@2chaotic.bsky.social

We love waking up from nightmares where everyone around gives you the cold shoulder, excludes you from everything while simultaneously making it very clear that every clique does not want you around, no matter how much I tried to be friends with people.

2chaotic
@2chaotic.bsky.social

I guess I really do deep down I just want to be wanted and the horrid childhood I had where no other kid wanted me around no matter what I did has never truly healed. No matter what I do I can't ever seem to shake that feeling that I can't be myself around people because no one wants that.

2chaotic
@2chaotic.bsky.social

I couldn't ever shake deep down that I have to bend over backwards for everyone else to even get the time of day, and that no one wants the actual me. Even now when I know that isn't the case, those scars won't heal, and still hurt me.

2chaotic
@2chaotic.bsky.social

Going live on Twitch with a return to Terraria Tuesday, still flailing around on that first playthrough. Forecast is a clear evening with a high likelihood of screaming and flailing. Streamtime funtime! With @milobuppoart.bsky.social www.twitch.tv/toochaotic

twitch.tvtoochaotic - Twitch2chaotic here, one Digital Raccoon hijacking your visual feed. Not a Trash Panda. Beware, bad decisions ahead! — toochaotic streams live on Twitch! Check out their videos, sign up to chat, and join th...
2chaotic
@2chaotic.bsky.social

Day three of CPAP: Seeing 1.5 apneas an hour is a tad spooky. I primarily got this machine to eliminate my snoring, but three days in a row now, I've not had my normal morning grogginess. I feel a tad more energetic and able to focus better. Has this been the shackle on me all these years?

2chaotic
@2chaotic.bsky.social

I know the 'threshold' medically is over 5 apneas an hour, but if this improvement in my mornings continue, then fuck the diagnosis, I've needed this half my life...

2chaotic
@2chaotic.bsky.social

Tired of my brain telling me that I'm not worth interacting with and repeatedly forcing me to recall all the time when I've been ignored for other people. Very cool of you brain. Not like I have a self esteem problem or something. Weh.