5thQuarterSports

5th Quarter Sports suddenly barred From white house press briefings. Our reporting was the only thing connecting the White House to the world of Sports Entertainment.

The Greatest Robbery Since Ocean's 11: Wiler Flores Denied #MLB MVP, America Denied Justice. Objectivity Is For Cowards.

Post office? More like post hole.

OPINION: Why Anthropic's IPO is bad news for the NFL, by Sam Altman.

Puka Nacua is starting a new podcast: Puka Throw Tuah

Smoking on that shit that gave Randy Moss.

Smoking on that shit that got Bo Nixed

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Circa 2001 I said "What the H-E-Double Hockey Sticks" whilst watching a Sacramento Kings game at my fundamentalist Christian neighbour's house and his father threatened to beat me up and down the block with his bible (New American).

Puka Hawk Tuah

UPDATE: Stafford's firmware was patched and upgraded before this game.

I have dementia as a side effect from the early penjamin technology.

The #Commanders have officially chosen a new name: the Washington January 6ers. Also on the chopping block: the Insurrectionists. Too hard to spell.

Dana White's new contender series: Power Bottom

McArch Manning

BREAKING: Owner of the Los Angeles #Clippers Offer God Trade, Ben Simmons For Pass To Heaven. Critics Call It One Sided.

Cherish your loved ones. Hug them every day. Because one day? You might find out they're Kings fans.

I am a garlic bread slut

BREAKING: #RefGate is offical. The NFL has initated a wave of Head Coach firing to hide referee corruption.

The kind of YouTube videos that Drake Maye was watching before this game

Smoking on that shit that got Nancy Maced

Smoking on that shit that had Osama been Laden.

Took some antibiotics and probiotics. There's a knife fight happening inside me right now.

The H in Jesus H Christ stands for Herman Miller

Sports Fact: Dr. Jill Biden is a life long Falcons fan.

Top 5 #NBA players most likely to enlist to fight in Ukraine. (You'll definitely guess #1)

There is something...off about the new Falcons designs.

BREAKING: Due to the severe PHP security issue, Rams QB Matthew Stafford will be ruled as OUT this week. He will return once a security patch can be ported to his firmware.

BREAKING: Tyrese Haliburton discovers dark and twisted family secret. It involves the Kennedys, Lockheed-Martin, and more. #NBA

BREAKING: Jed York returns from suspension as the Niners WR1

My local bar got one of those Punching Bags Arcade games

The Sacramento #Kings have some interesting new shops opening up in the Golden One Center, geared directly towards their fanbase. This includes a masochism accessory shop.

You're telling me that some how that white blonde lady was *checks notes* technically a Chinese lawyer?

Please, Chames was my father. You can call me Chimi. Chimichurri.

“CFP near deal for for 24-team field in 2027” (ESPN) @5thquartersports.com I think they are setting the bar too low. We all want to see a 192-team field next year.

Report: While Playing GTA As A Child Joe Burrow Would Follow Sex Workers Around For Hours

Shocking: A second coaching related injury was reported, Jim Harbaugh was split in half this NFL Sunday.

I thought they canceled the public execution, but the Chargers insisted this week anyways.

BREAKING: The first ever recorded NFL coaching injury just happened. Mike McCarthy is out with a torn ACL.

Huge Penix energy.

ARSENAL ARSENAL ARSENAL

Sports Fact: If a woman edges a man before getting pregnant, the chances of the child becoming a WR1 increase by at least 30%.

BREAKING: Aaron Rodgers claims hot dogs cure cancer and mustard cures AIDS on Joe Rogan. He's now set to replace RFK Jr. as Secretary of HHS. #NFL

Love is a battle field. I work for Baetheon. I commit love-based war crimes.

Watching a UT game.

BREAKING: The West Sacramento #Athletics have announced that they're changing their name to the Sacramento Tower Bridges or The Sacramento Lady Bird Bridges