Andrew a9630

Alice Giddings sure likes a good time.

youtube.com/shorts/xks1-...

‘Pull out’ says Pope.

Four is the only number that has the right number of letters.

What’s the feminine version of suitor? Suitress? Suitrix?

Excuse me?

Up above the Grey Mare’s Tail to Loch Skene 10 years ago. #scotland

Today’s sketches - a cow and an archer 🐄🏹

www.huffpost.com/entry/tossin... One thing has lead to another blatant attempt to attract the attention of @apiln.bsky.social

Torwoodlee Broch this afternoon.

If a cat has 9 lives, do they have 9 ghosts?

I think we all need to remember that it’s Ed Sheeran who’s the real victim in all this. He’s been bravely sitting down for the right to say nothing. #solEdarnity

She’s clearly cheating by using both legs.

I choose to not believe in free will.

Noughts and Crosses is just Connect Three played in zero gravity.

The concept of music has pulled out of Ed Sheeran’s tour.

And the five others are…?

The Democrats just need to offer voters $6000.

Smile, eyes, hair - everything. He does look more like 36 though.

Although they're kind of similar acts and neither should really be done in public, there's a big difference between relieving yourself and giving yourself relief.

What Bluesky (and I guess all the others) needs is a button that says I like the post but dislike the subject. I mean, I don't want to 'like' the announcement of somebody's death. Except obviously when THAT death happens.

If you tell me something interesting and I reply ‘oh yes?’ then I’m asking you to tell me more, not simply asking you to confirm that you’re being truthful.

So I see The Proclaimers have been talking Some Shite in Leith.

www.twitch.tv/andrew9630/c... Hello dogs in the cafe

Went to my doctor to complain about my ED but he misunderstood. Now I’m eating handfuls of viagra between meals.

I actually believe Farage. I imagine that he doesn’t bother listening to an American businessman offering to give him a mere half million. It’s 5 mill or gtf.

Your da’s an onlyfans reply guy.

The most politically correct computer company is, ironically, Apple.

Ambidextrous implies the existence of ambisinister.

Fate has the opportunity to do something extraordinarily funny by making one of the new Harry Potter kids trans.

Ernie is short for Ernard.

In Galashiels today for the first Scottish Borders Pride March. Great to see so many people there and such happy signs. 🌈

Ordinary kids.

This is your periodical reminder that right now, out there somewhere, Tom Cruise is doing something weird.

Peter Skellern, Julian Lloyd Webber and Mary Hopkin were all members of Oasis. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oasis_(...

The words ‘jump’ and ‘stand’ are antonyms where the sounds are the wrong way round. ‘Stand’ sounds explosive and dynamic but ‘jump’ sounds stodgy and boring.

Sensibly, I chose to say nothing about this incident until I knew the immigration status of this family. The people who rushed in with the Padddington memes and ‘they is wiv Diana now 😢’ posts look very silly. Remember: always find out if they’re a refugeee before showing sympathy.

Anti-climaxxing: those guys who go gym all the time and look incredibly tough but always end up being boring.

Reform reading the room as usual. The room that’s on fire.

You shouldn’t travel by road. Or rail. And boats are just caught in one big flood. We think you should travel by aeroplane. There’s no floods in the sky!

There's no such thing as a day owl.

When arranging the packets of rice in your cupboard, do you do it alphabetically or by national cuisine from West to East?

Maude is short for Maudrey

Does anyone else think this ship looks like a cartoon French mouse? It’s even got a gallic moustache.

I sold one of my sketches this week, and I'm very happy about it.

I’ve also had a good time in Glasgow and subsequently realised I couldn’t find my boxers.

David Bowie. Rebel, Rebel. @sharonmcteir.bsky.social @theblueststar.bsky.social

If James Bond has to be played by a white man because that what the books say, then he also has to be played by an actor born in the 1920s because that’s also what the books say.